Here’s a bit of first date advice: conversation on a date, especially good conversation, is critical to the date’s success. So it makes total sense for you to arrive at the date armed with a healthy dose of things to talk about.
It not only helps lighten the mood, but it also aids the process of discovery – of getting to know the other person.
But beware! Don’t take it too far…
It’s not necessary to fill every moment of the date with a verbal barrage.
Here’s a great First Date Advice Tip:
She’s NOT interested in your life story. Seriously – give it a rest.
Just because you’re nervous, or trying to impress her is no reason to develop a bad case of verbal diarrhea. All you’ll do is kill the date and any future chance you have with her.
And technology being what it is today, you don’t want to end up on her Facebook® page with a big “L” (stands for ‘loser’) pasted over your forehead or the topic of today’s trending ‘tweet’.
Verbal diarrhea will not only make you look like an idiot, but it will send her running faster than a Porsche in a slug racing competition.
Instead try enjoying the ambiance, the music or heaven forbid, your date. And besides, that longer-than-normal gaze into her eyes says more than any words ever could.
So how much is enough?
Let your date decide!
Ask her about herself. Let her talk. Show genuine interest in what she says and ask questions. Pay attention. Talk a little about yourself and make sure you don’t talk about your previous dates or dating experiences – no good can ever come from that topic – even if she goes there.
This will let your date know that it’ not all about you.
Moreover, it lends a bit of mystique or mystery to the date and to future dates when you hold back. Savor the moment like a fine wine – it should take time to get to know one another…
Granted, it’s easy to get carried away when you like someone, but where’s the fun in knowing everything there is to know on the first date? What’s left for the second and third dates? In fact, it’s often better to save some of your best stories for later dates to keep the interest flowing over time.
Pace yourself.
The Number One First Date Advice Conversation Tip
Now if you’re looking for the number one first date advice conversation tip here it is:
Let your date talk then at the appropriate moment ask, “how did that make you feel?” or “how does that make you feel?”.
The question must come at the appropriate moment or it’s Facebook® with an “L” on your forehead all over again.
Here’s another way to look at it:
You’ve just told her your life’s story and plowing right along you ask her, “how does that make you feel?” (an example of inappropriate timing)
Her number one answer will most likely be, “bored! I want to go home!”
To use another example, if she says, “I just painted my toenails red” and you ask her “how does that make you feel?” (another case of inappropriate timing) you’re going to look like an idiot.
On the other hand, if she tells you she just got into an argument with a friend of hers and you ask how that makes her feel, it opens the door for her to express her feelings about it – be they mad, or sad or irritated or whatever.
Remember that the language women use to communicate with is feelings while the language men use to communicate with is solutions.
Men want to solve a problem while women want to talk about one. You should resist the temptation to solve her problems at all costs. Instead, listen and show an interest in what she is talking about while adding your experience and views at the appropriate time.
Conversation shouldn’t be a one-way street so take our first date advice and leave your life story at home.